holding hands with ice cream on our lips.

She was so adventurous, it was hard to keep up. I did my best to follow her all around the park, pretending I couldn't keep up with her. She always found it funny that I couldn't reach her. She had that bright smile that cheered me up very much.

Her smile, every time she would turn around and stick out her tongue, was very pretty.

"Hey!" She said, sitting beside me on the bench.

"You're tired already?" She challenged, her witty remarks always hit me where I was weakest.

"Of course not!" I retorted, standing up to prove myself.

"Well good! Whoever reaches the big apple tree on the other side of the park last will have to buy us something to drink!" she said, running after her first few words, leaving me wondering what she was screaming.

As soon as I realized what she was saying, I ran after her once more. Our afternoons run like this every day, until we would have to go back home for supper.

She was near the apple tree when she suddenly stopped. Her happy and cheerful face changed into a curious, wondering face, the one that usually happens when her dad tells her something new.

I slowed down, but then she sprinted towards a bush past the apple tree.

"Huh?" I wondered. I followed her behind the bush, and like ninjas in a mission, we were deathly quiet.

Her eyes were fixed on something, while her hands divided the bush to make way for her sight.

"What is it?" I asked, my breathing slowing down.

"Look." She said.

Pointing with her fingers, my eyes followed. On the park's bench, under the shade of the tree was an older boy and girl sitting together holding hands. It was awkward to look at, but the two seemed to like each other very much.

The boy held her hand securely, caressing her hand, while the girl rested her head on his shoulders. The boy's head tilted closer to the girl's, and he looked like he was whispering to her something.

"I love you."

"What?" I said, surprised.

"The boy said I love you to the girl." she said, looking shocked, disbelieving, and excited all at the same time. She stopped rummaging through the bush and the sight of the couple was gone.

"Wow." I said, speechless.

"Yeah... wow." She said, pausing. Sitting down properly, (like a lady, i must add) she continued "I wonder what it would be like, when we're older. What it would feel like to love someone,"

"I wouldn't know. I think all of that is rubbish," I said, rubbing my nose, the strike of the sun was truly hot.

"Oh that's what you say!" She said, her tone changing, defensive. "How nice it would be for someone to be there when you're hurt, or when you have no one to play with."

"Well, I'd always be here to play with you." I said, trying to disprove her. Or was I? I felt something else too. Something I haven't felt before.

She paused for a moment, and nothing was said.

"That's true."

We were both lying down beside a leafy bush, a place no one else knew about. We were both staring at the clouds, just passing by. I wondered what she was thinking about.

"I think... that it isn't really rubbish." I said slowly.

"Well that's nice. " she said, her sincere smile evident from her tone.

We were once again, quietly lying down on the park.

"Do you love me?"

I heard her, but I didn't know what to say. Love is such a big word. It's an adult's word, and they use it for special people. But she's special to me!

I stared long and hard at her eyes, hoping to find the answer. Time seemed to stand still, waiting for my move.

"Yes, I love you very much. Do you love me?" I said, throwing the question back at her.

She only smiled, and it saddened me. I looked away, blushing and ashamed.

I was thinking of what to do next when I felt something on my cheek.

"Yes I love you too."

She kissed me on my cheek. And that was one of the happiest days of my life.

The Oldest Game of All

Choronzon: Ssso, You know the rules, dreamlord? If you win, I will return your helmet.
If you lose, you will ssserve as plaything of hell, for eternity. Our ssslave.

Very well. I have the first move. I am a dire wolf, prey-stalking, lethal prowler.

Dream: I am a hunter, horse-mounted, wolf-stabbing.

And I feel the grass beneath my hooves, the flanks between my legs.

All is real. Nothing is real. Choronzon’s move.

Choronzon: I am a horsefly, horse-stinging, hunter-throwing.

Dream: There are many ways to lose the oldest game. Failure of nerve, hesitation… Being unable to shift into a defensive shape. Lack of imagination.

I am a spider, fly-consuming, eight legged.

Choronzon: I am a snake, spider-devouring, poison-toothed.

Dream: I am an ox, snake-crushing, heavy-footed.

I feel the snake writhe beneath my hoof, its spine crushed.

Choronzon: I am an anthrax, butcher bacterium, warm-life destroying.

Dream: A change in direction, but still an old gambit. I think…

I think I understand how Choronzon plays. How I can turn it against him.

I think I will abandon the offensive.

I am a world, space-floating, life-nurturing.

Choronzon: I am a nova, all-exploding… planet-cremating.

Dream: I am the Universe—all things encompassing, all life embracing.

Choronzon: I am anti-life, the beast of judgement. I am the dark at the end of everything. The end of universes, gods, worlds… of everything.

Sss. And what will you be then dreamlord?

Dream: I am hope.

________

Neil Gaiman is the best writer I have ever known. He's like, the pinnacle of good writing. Next would be my brother.

Bird's point of view

It may be called the dream world, but really now. Do people really dream about these things?

The valley of rainbows used to be the most colorful and most dominant dreams found in these lands. I must have not noticed the drastic change because I have stayed for quite some time already.

But really now! Madness. suicide. pressure. stress. Of all the things to dream about, why trouble yourself? In a place where anything you want can happen, why not want for the things that makes you happy?

"They don't know what they want." said an eerie voice quietly, a dark figure nearing Matthew.

"So, they think of things they're handling because they are confused?"

"Yes. They create their own nightmares, their own fears, their own worries."

"Silly humans."

"You were once a human, Matthew."

"Yes. I ... yeah. I guess I'm lucky I'm finished with that lifetime." I said, while slowly extending my primaries to its full length. Admiring my beautiful coat as it flows gracefully from my mantle, i returned to the Lord of Dreams.

"But don't you think they might be dreaming about the future?" I asked, returning my wings to its proper place.I faced Morpheus hoping to find answers, his black eyes twinkling with its own illumination.

"The future is not a constant. No one knows what the future has in store for us. None but my eldest brother."

"Have you tried asking him?" I asked, nudged by curiosity.

"There is no use in finding out what lies in the future. If we knew, would we change it? could we change it? would it still happen if we don't do anything to reach it? There are complications, Matthew, and there are reasons for not knowing it. If the people dream about what could possibly happen, then it is up to them to live it through," he said, with a tone that ends the conversation.

He paused for a moment, and took a step forward. After a few seconds, there appeared a strip from reality, a large gaping hole suspended in the air.

In it were noisy men drinking beer with their chins to the heavens, their booze pouring from barrels.

"You're going to visit someone's dream?"

"My dear Matthew," he said, as he slowly stepped into the rift, "this is reality."

He was gone in a blink and all that's left was Matthew, perched on a greenless tree.

Sometimes it was difficult to talk to Dream. Maybe after living for so long knowledge just accumulates and stacks up. His speech about the future was too much to satisfy my inquisitiveness, and frankly, it didn't matter to me that much.

I just turned away and extended my wings once more. Flying away to nowhere, led by none other than curiosity.

Sticks and stones.

My last blog's title was called "the last escape" because just a while ago, I really needed to talk to someone. But i didn't want to talk with anyone. I just need someone to listen, you know? Yeah. So that's why this blog is entitled the last escape. In this site, i feel like i can write anything without anyone knowing. My secrets. Hidden.

So blog. How you been? I'm at the point of cracking up like a lunatic. I'm even talking to my blog. How about you?

Nobody reads this crap darren. bull shit.

Of course the blog can't speak for itself. And anyways, that's what i wanted. Someone who would just agree to what i say, no matter what. Well, what do i want to talk about then.

Well, i felt really bad a while ago. Really depressed. Chicks. haha. depressant. I don't even see the point anymore. They're all the same, i think.

I can change, blog. You might not think i can, but i will do my best to do so. Why am i even ranting about this. Oh right. I remember now.

To a certain person out there: Keep lying to yourself. You'll get yourself no where. Or if otherwise, then don't worry. I don't give a fuck at all.

But if so, why does it move me. I shouldn't have dared myself to do it. Look what it did to me. I'm like a crumbling mountain. A mountain wanna-be. Haha.

That's another thing that pisses me off haha. It's really annoying haha. You never know what the person thinks lol when they're typing something down, right? haha. You'd only get a weak hint (haha) that the person really isn't in his normal self. ROFL.

I should stfu really.

God gave man two ears and one mouth because listening is more important.

A blabbering fool has many things to say, while the quiet wise has learned many things already.

I've nothing else to say right now. That's all.

This will be my last escape.

You know, I sometimes love the fact that sentences written on the internet can hide your intonation and feelings. They're the perfect mask. Just lips, moving. This is not one of those times.

Anyways, this is an apology to a particular group of my friends. I'm sorry because I'll be changing. Idk if it's for the better or for the worse. It just complicates things, and makes it more difficult. Simple were the days when I used to just run around and make myself look stupid. But those days have passed already, and now I have to grow up. Change. I have to be proper.

Before, there were only a few categories of people I knew. young and old, friend and stranger. Now it's more complicated that i've grown. It's not as simple. And maybe, if I act the same as the crowd, maybe I'll blend in. The crowd doesn't seem to have these kinds of problems. Or maybe they do.

Here it goes. I'm not going to be the same, i think. It'll be better this way. I'm still here though, for sure. But i can't be the same as before. It's simpler, and easier.

I'm sorry.

A restaurant stew

Nine o' clock. I wonder where she is. Did something happen? She must be stuck in traffic or something. I wonder why, though. I planned this evening to be one of the most memorable evenings she'll ever have.

And yet, she's still not here. I wonder what happened to her.

"Uh, sir, would you like your... um. receipt now?"

He was just standing there, nodding his head, hoping I get the message.

I wonder what happened. She was looking forward to this day a lot, and... I don't know. The long drive home seemed harder with an empty stomach. With this traffic, I'm going to get home in an hour. It's funny. I'm alone in this car, jammed in traffic, and i'm laughing alone. Haha.

I'm starving. I'll just go by the nearby convenient store first.

__

Where were you?
I was caught in traffic! What kind of restaurant puts itself in such a crowded place?
They're a really good restaurant, and it's a commercial place. There's a nearby mall just over the..
But still! The traffic I had to go through to go there! Only to find you weren't there anymore! Why didn't you wait for me?
It was getting late, and the restaurant was closing already.
Well we could have just had a short meal you know. God. Do you know how hard it was to traverse that much traffic? And after finding out that it was for nothing, you're going back the same way?
I know. I went through that same traffic too. The traffic started building up after I left.
Especially the eight o' clock traffic! It's the peak hour!
Eight o' clock?
Maybe next time I should plan the evening!

Silence.

Beep. Hi, I'm not here at the moment, just leave a message!

Hey girlfriend! Last night was amazing! You left the bikinis we bought at my house when we were trying them out. Just pick'em up when you free, kay? See ya sweetie.

Life summarized is a roller coaster.

It's funny how I am afraid of roller coasters at my age of 16. I mean, I should be excited for each but I don't know. It just scares the shit out of me. Especially the waiting part.

God. The waiting part could kill me as slow as a spoon could cut you. First waiting part would be getting to the line. At this part, I'd be thinking, holy crap. How did my friend just convince me to get here? Hey man (talking to myself), if you're not sure then you don't have to go. I mean, you can still be a the bigger man without doing this. Come on! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING LINE!

Then when you get to the line, some strangers line up behind you. You can't get out now. It would be the worst kind of cowardice ever to break a line just because you're scared. I remember the elevator ride thingy in the U.S. that I rode. I asked if I could get out off the line but the lady heartlessly said "no". I was like, okay fine. If I die, then it's on your conscience.

So now, you're stuck in the line, thinking, Holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap. Then you hear the swoosh of the ride, then you continue! holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap.

Breathing would get faster, asthma would start to attack, and random shit would be happening. Funny though, I never felt like I needed a piss when I rode roller coasters.

The next waiting would be choosing seats on the roller coaster waiting for it to start. I mean, it's like choosing your mode of death. Would it be at the very end? at the very start? gay middle?

Then, the ride starts. As the ride slowly increases in its height or ascension, you can't find the air.

Then woosh. The ride's over. Haha.

You get off the ride and say, "Holy crap! I conquered this shit! >.< I can go again whenever I want to!"

Except you don't, unless your friends invite you. You just can't resist it anymore. Haha.

Now, telling you that long awful story about roller coasters wasn't my intention. I just realized a few minutes ago how similar this and love is. Come on. Check the comparison.

Once you are out of your ride, you feel like riding it again, except you're still scared. You wonder if you should go, but then again, no one's forcing you to.

Once out of a relationship, you feel like you need to have one again. Maybe someone to fill in the gap of what the other person left. But still, you're scared. You're scared to make the same mistakes as before.

But that's what life is. That's what love is. And funny, that's what roller coasters are about too.

It's about making mistakes and learning from them. Growing old from the fear of heights or fear or errors, until you realize that there's really nothing to be afraid of. Learning the ride itself, its ups and downs, and enjoying it.

Paper planes.

You know, I was eating dirty ice cream just a few hours ago. I was playing guitar on the bench outside my grandfather's house, when I heard the "ting-aling" of the ice cream man. I put down my guitar, ran all the way to my lolo's room and asked my mom to buy me ice cream.

Yummy. I was sucking it with my whole mouth when it suddenly plopped and suffocated me for two seconds. Hahaha. It was so funny. I just had to write it in my blog. I was laughing like hell all by myself on the bench.

I was thinking about which girls I could possibly like. I was liek, I don't want to be played again. I need to be sure. This the effect when a guy gets played. He doesn't want to get hurt lolol.

What's funny though, is that love is about getting hurt and healing. There's always risks. You can't NOT get hurt when you get into a relationship. I was afraid to make mistakes, making sure that everything should be perfect now. No more mistakes.

But that's not love. love is a risk too. I should remember that. Another thing, if I'm not ready to get hurt, I shouldn't fall in love. Right-o, remember that!

one two three, and stop.

I'm going to stop writing about that topic because whenever I do, I just feel either bad, emotional or happy for the wrong reasons. I had a great idea in my head, but expressing it so I can share it with people is hard. I guess I'll write about random things or stuff that I might want to read about again later on if I forget.

This summer, I usually blame others for mistakes. Like how I blame the guitar strings to be rusty thus decreasing my speed, or the scraped-out grip tape of my skateboard for not allowing me to kick flip properly. I need to put in my mind that it is ME that is wrong, and that everything depends on me. It won't work properly if I am the problem, and I just have to focus. I need to take the blame and grow up. I can't always blame others for mistakes.

I realized how much I dislike my attitude when it comes to people. Sometimes I just don't like how I treat others, especially when they are good people. I also don't like it when people are too happy around me when there's really nothing to be happy about. Not being pessimistic, but there are these people who just act happy for no reason and sometimes they act happy when they're not. I mean, you don't have to pretend to be happy, there are times when we really feel low. If you're sad, you're not forced to deny it. I know it sounds so wrong of me to even be the one to speak about this. I know.

I need to know more of my friends who has blogspot. or else Joanna is the only one who's going to read all this crap, if ever she does read this. :[